Has every mother been there?

I try to believe every mother has been at a point where she wonders how she could ever love her second baby as much as her first. I for one have. Even though we intentionally got pregnant, and we were unbelievably excited to finally be adding to our family. I still had this thought run through my mind until I held my sweet Ashton. Then all of a sudden it felt like I had two hearts full of equal love for these two precious boys.

Now with time speeding by...sheesh some days I wish it would slow down. I look at Ashton and my heart melts. I caught myself shedding a few tears the other day because he is already 5 months old. We introduce solids next month and I told my husband "What if we prolong it one more month," his reply was "Either way he will eventually start hun, you cant prolong them growing up."

 Have I mentioned how I didnt even want to put my oldest, Seth in Sunbeams?? I wanted to wait another year just so I could prepare myself. I didnt even realize it was happening until we were all sitting in Sacrament, and they announced that the classes would be changing. My heart sank, and I looked at Cameron. Of course he was just grinning from ear to ear, and I"m over there sobbing. I blame that emotional break down on my pregnancy.

I always try to remember, one day I will miss the sticky door knobs, clothes aka underwear out in the open, piles of exhausting laundry that needs tending, and looking at my house wondering where the tornado came from since I literally just cleaned it. The days I dont want to keep to our kid's bedtime routine, with family prayer, family scripture study, brushing teeth, pj's, and then finally story time I tell myself  one day they wont want stories, and this is my time to make every second count. To allow them to have a childhood of remembering how much I love spending time with them.

Parenting is so hard, in ways I never thought it would be. With that being said, it is so rewarding. I remember being pregnant with Seth and countless people would make comments like "Oh no are you ready for this?" "You sure your up for it?" "Just wait for the terrible two's!"  What a negative way to describe parenthood.

The hard days, I'm thankful for. The easy days, I'm just as thankful for.

I'm not done having kids, and I"m grateful I still get the privileged to experience more baby moments, toddler moments, and child moments. Once I leave that chapter behind, I know I'll miss what I have today, but I'll also be excited for the next one. Until then I will enjoy my two boys :)