Food?

My husband and I had an interesting conversation yesterday, one of which, he does not exactly enjoy.  The topic was food, but not just basic food you find in every grocery store isle, the food you find in the produce section.  My question to him was "Do we ourselves eat enough fruits and vegetables, and do we feed our growing children enough too?"  His sarcastic response was "Sure we do!"  I had to give him "the look" for a minute or two before he said, "We eat just fine, please don't do this."

He knows that I am in a changing mode, and I think on the outside he is scared but I believe our bodies are yearning for this change.  I want my children to choose fresh fruits and vegetables instead of gummy snacks and granola bars that give the parents the idea that they are getting a good source of fiber or fruit, when it could not be further from the truth.  I want my children to understand that our bodies need and thrive off nutrients, actual nutrients from what we can grow rather than artificially make in a factory. 

My two-year-old, Ashton is similar to his dad.  Each day I would present freshly cut veggies and immediately he would throw them to the floor, exactly where they belong.  I decided to see his reaction if I gave him his veggies first. His hungry tummy couldn't resist eating whatever was on his plate. A few months later, I now can combine the two and he will eat them both.  I often find bite marks in cucumbers, apples, peaches, and his mitten size hands grabbing as many grapes that will fit in them before running away from the refrigerator.  This makes me happy; the mother in me is smiling from ear to ear.

I love unhealthy food, and the temptation is everywhere but I do not love what it does to our bodies, our health, and our mental health.  I do not love that these companies are money hungry and are willing to put in any chemical or artificially made "whatever" in the food to make it taste better, have a fruitier flavor, or for it to have a longer shelf life.  I do not love seeing small children that are obese and struggling with weight when they should be running and playing.  Sugar is an addiction, they did a study, and it informed them that the same part of the brain lights up when we consume sugar and cocaine.  Another study was done in the United States on 43 rats that were given cocaine for a period of time.  Then they were given the option to have either sugar water or cocaine, 40 out of the 43 rats chose sugar water.  

I am excited for this change, for my children, my husband, and myself.  A friend of mine, who is awesomely, awesome, said we can use the word of wisdom as a guide, and I am forever grateful that I can have some insight to know how I should feed my family.  I am grateful that Heavenly Father has given us this information when we are living in a world pulling us in so many directions.  I am also grateful to have this beautiful body, and to be able to bear beautiful children. We should love our bodies--

(1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

The exterior of the temple is beautiful; the same for the inside.  We should not only respect the exterior of our bodies but also the inside, making sure that what we put into our mouths is far more beneficial most of the time than not.  

Alycia.

There's so much to be thankful for

      I put my kids to bed tonight and looked around to see a kitchen that needed to be swept, sink full of dishes, counters that could use a good wipe down, toys scattered from one end to the other and a bathroom full of laundry. As I began to clean up these messes that were made by my little humans that roam this house who expect laundry to be done, breakfast, lunch and dinner prepared, a refrigerator to be stocked with healthy and delicious food, and a mother who has energy to play with them each and every day. I realized how much I enjoy my job as a stay at home mother. I feel blessed that my night was spent cleaning up after two incredible boys who are snuggled up warm in their beds waiting for the sun to rise and make a mess again.

     Parenting is hard, and as my husband and I talk about expanding our family I feel overwhelmed and scared, but then I have reflected on what I have already endured in my life. The blessings I have received and how much the Lord has helped me personally, and by that I am assured I can accomplish anything I righteously desire. That sentence is comforting to me and allows me to expand my dreams, overcome my challenges, and blossom in so many ways. I can say with everything I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true.



"The greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own.  That is what True love is.  And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love. The ideal God holds for us is to form families in the way most likely to lead to happiness and away from sorrow."

Our Perfect ExampleHenry B. Eyring

Alycia

I know it's true.

   Every Sunday morning I rise early and give myself the pep talk to prepare for what may lie ahead. My husband is gone attending his Priesthood meetings and I'm left to get my two boys ready for church. I know, I know, having two boys may not seem like a huge task compared to the wonderful super-moms who have more, but two for me is difficult, especially on Sunday mornings.  My oldest Seth somehow finds a reason to counter every word I say, and Ashton, my oh so sweet Ashton just doesn't like much of anything....well besides breakfast.

 A normal morning would consist of Ashton screaming when I try to change his diaper, more screaming when I struggle to clothe his cute chubby body, and again when I do his hair, which is why most often then not its never done. My sweet Seth loves to sneak the iPad and play on it knowing he shouldn't. He does a great job at dressing himself, which is such a huge help for me, but he never fails to change out of his clothes and into a costume 10 minutes before we need to jet out the door. By the time we reach our church building, Seth is eye balling the parking lot to see which of his friends are there that day, and Ashton is just excited to get out of the car. 

My husband isnt able to sit with me during the Sacrament (if you don't know what that is click here) so I have the sole responsibility to keep two children as reverent as I can for a little over an hour. Seth normally does well, he is old enough to color or draw, but Ashton on the other hand isn't. He scatters the crayons, steps on Seth's drawings, hits Seth with whatever he can find, and usually has at least two screaming fits especially when he sees his dad at the front. It can be quite challenging, and I feel so inadequate when I see mothers doing it with more children then what I have. They are my inspiration to help me get through each Sacrament meeting, and to have the patience to handle the plate that I have been given. 

I don't do this every week to torture myself, or to boast that I am a Christian. I do this because I know that Jesus Christ lives. I know that the only way to find that pure and true happiness is from the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know this is true because I have witnessed it myself in my own life. I used to wonder where I came from, why am I here and I struggled with finding true inner happiness. Once I learned about the gospel of Jesus Christ and really understood the why of many unanswered questions I had, that happiness that I longed for entered my life and has yet to leave. 

I know that by sacrificing small things, such as a Sunday to learn more about our purpose here on earth, we are blessed for it. I know that if we take that first initial leap of faith doors will open we didn't know existed, and a life we could only have dreamed of would be reality. I love my life as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I am proud to -- "stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places, even until death."-- Mosiah 18:9.

I love this Gospel and I love and treasure those who dared to stand alone to help me reach my fullest potential and be the best wife and mother that I possibly can. 

Alycia.

Hello Flu...Goodbye 10lbs

I suppose I cant ignore my enthusiasm on working out in my previous post any longer. My high hopes of loosing all my baby weight came to a sudden halt when I had the worst stomach flu of my entire life.

 I took my oldest son to his first Pre-Kindergarten Christmas concert in 2012. It went as normal as any other occasion I get excited for. My stroller was to big to push around in the crowd of people, and of course my eight month old was sound asleep. So I left him in the stroller while I watched the cute musical presentation they provided us with. My video camera that I wanted "so bad" to capture moments such as these wouldn't work. And when I say wouldn't work I mean when I press the "take a photo button" I obviously meant record. So now I have these fuzzy terrible looking photos of him standing there with his mouth open.

That's when I started feeling sick, and honestly, just wanted to go home. I wasnt in the best of mood so the thought of having a bunch of 4 year old children making a Christmas tree out of icing, sprinkles, candies and an ice cream cone wasn't exactly what I wanted to participate in. My son was to excited to pass up that opportunity, and I couldn't bare to tell him we were going home. We stayed, and frosted each portion of that cone, and placed a variety of candy so that it covered the entire tree, and then came the words "Now...I get to eat it." A mothers worst nightmare. I thought to myself, why would they torture us parents like that? Have our kids make a super sugary treat then say "Adios, oh and have a  Merry Christmas." Terrible to say, but at this point in my soon to be death torture, I didn't care. Did I mention while we were making our awesome tree, a random person walked up to me and said "Is that your baby?" "Yes" I embarrassingly responded. "He is screaming." I rushed over there and sure enough it was my child who was purple faced crying strapped in a huge stroller, and I was the mother that was oblivious to it.  Oops!

On the drive home I phoned my husband and told him how I was feeling sick, and I needed him to come home. I had a hope inside of me that he would rush to my rescue, but then reality struck and all he had was a short apology and in four hours he would be home.

Finally my husband got home, the kids were still up, unfed and I was lying on the couch feeling as if I was dying. My entire body hurt, and my stomach was in excruciating pain. Because my husband is so awesome, he took care of the kids. Unfortunately it was only a Tuesday and he didn't have any days off until Saturday.

Have you ever nursed while sick with the flu? I never have until this death sickness struck me and let me tell you. It. Is. Awful. There are no words for me to explain the intensity of how badly I hated this flu, and having to take care of two children was so difficult.

It was more like a twelve hour flu then a twenty four hour recovery. I still did not want to eat the next two or so days but forced down a couple crackers every few hours.

So in ending, the flu literally! Almost killed me, or so it felt that way, but I did loose that ten pounds..in twelve hours...shockingly, it never came back. To me, it was almost like sympathy gift. Here is a nasty unspeakable, dreadful stomach flu, but don't you worry! That ten pounds will never return.

At first I glorified in the simple fact I didn't have to work out daily. Then realized, I still do... So I began to start a routine, then came Christmas 2013 and I stopped but here we are entering 2014 and I'm back at it. I'm not sure if it will ever feel enjoyable, but I know that my future self will appreciate it. I can already see my metabolism slow down and if I want any more kids in the future years I know I need to keep working toward having a regular exercise routine.

It only took me one entire year after my horrific experience with my photos, and a nasty flu to get me going.

So I welcome 2014 with open arms. I am excited to see where our family goes, how I grow into becoming a better wife and mother and just simply enjoy this little messy, chaotic life we have here in Canada.

As promised here are the two pictures.

Before

After

Blahhhh

I came across this blog with such an enlightening post here. After reading such an inspiring message I told myself joyfully I want my children to remember the mother I am, the sacrifice I made to make sure they had everything they needed or even wanted. I didnt want to miss out on capturing precious moments or milestones because my hair was frizzy, or my desired weight hadnt been reached yet.

  This determined optimistic change lasted until I recently took photos. I took one glance at my stomach bulging over my jeans and my heart sank.  I silently thought is this what I really look like? Then I easily recalled the days I spent eating caramelites, cookies and better than anything cake for breakfast. Now I see where every piece of delicious Heaven went. Then unwillingly I looked at my legs. When did those fill out?? I swear just the other day I justified how great I looked in the mirror. 

Now of course I just had to add to the fire. While taking pictures I thought it would be "sooo cute" to take a picture of our family walking down a dirt road. My husband and I holding hands, while our four year old happily took a ride on Cameron's shoulders and I held our sweet 6 month old. The image I had in my mind was a Pinterest type of photo. I even had the perfect place picked out on our wall.

Well, since I'm writing this post obviously it turned out way different then what I had expected. Our two boys, were adorable, and my husband even looked great....but then there was me and not only was it me, but it was me from behind??? WHAT WAS I THINKING. Instead of exiting out of my photos and walking away dealing with my bulging stomach and tree trunk thighs I zoom in!! Big mistake. There it was, my worst nightmare. I gulped and thought is that really me, over and over until it sank in....Yep thats definitely me....

The pain and embarrassment I felt at that moment was more than I could handle. Many ideas scrambled through my mind, like I'll never walk in front of anyone every again, I need longer shirts, and so on.

Can I just say booooo on the body bouncing back after baby number 2. I dont know about anyone else but after I had Seth I had nothing to worry about. I gained 60+ pounds and was back down to my pre-pregnancy size in one month. I have a second child and only gained 29 lbs and it looks like my body is made of goo and someone threw it against the wall...SPLAT is all I see when I look at myself, especially in the recent pictures.

I promise this isnt a depressing sympathy post to gain any attention. I do have a motive here or at least I hope I do.

Finally after the initial shock I was able to think rationally, I came to a conclusion. Theres a wonderful thing called cardio. Ahhh HAH!!! Maybe, just maybe if I change my terrible eating habits and run on the treadmill I've given my husband such a hard time about having since its hardly been used. No need to embarrass myself more by going to a gym, it seems all to good to be true.

So here it is, I dont care what I "weighed" before I had Ashton, or Seth. I still want to capture moments with my children, but I also want to feel good. I want to look back to these days and be proud of the mother I am, but also be proud of ME and feel good about the skin I"m in. I've attempted to start this for two months now but have had a hard time sticking to it. Am I the only one with this problem??

I was thinking of posting my horrific experience with my photos but I'll save myself the embarrassment until I take a new one and hopefully look much better.

I'm committed now, I have to do this! Its far more embarrassing to post this publicly and not make a change than it is to just get up and do it....right???

I can do this.....I can do this.....I can do this....

Has every mother been there?

I try to believe every mother has been at a point where she wonders how she could ever love her second baby as much as her first. I for one have. Even though we intentionally got pregnant, and we were unbelievably excited to finally be adding to our family. I still had this thought run through my mind until I held my sweet Ashton. Then all of a sudden it felt like I had two hearts full of equal love for these two precious boys.

Now with time speeding by...sheesh some days I wish it would slow down. I look at Ashton and my heart melts. I caught myself shedding a few tears the other day because he is already 5 months old. We introduce solids next month and I told my husband "What if we prolong it one more month," his reply was "Either way he will eventually start hun, you cant prolong them growing up."

 Have I mentioned how I didnt even want to put my oldest, Seth in Sunbeams?? I wanted to wait another year just so I could prepare myself. I didnt even realize it was happening until we were all sitting in Sacrament, and they announced that the classes would be changing. My heart sank, and I looked at Cameron. Of course he was just grinning from ear to ear, and I"m over there sobbing. I blame that emotional break down on my pregnancy.

I always try to remember, one day I will miss the sticky door knobs, clothes aka underwear out in the open, piles of exhausting laundry that needs tending, and looking at my house wondering where the tornado came from since I literally just cleaned it. The days I dont want to keep to our kid's bedtime routine, with family prayer, family scripture study, brushing teeth, pj's, and then finally story time I tell myself  one day they wont want stories, and this is my time to make every second count. To allow them to have a childhood of remembering how much I love spending time with them.

Parenting is so hard, in ways I never thought it would be. With that being said, it is so rewarding. I remember being pregnant with Seth and countless people would make comments like "Oh no are you ready for this?" "You sure your up for it?" "Just wait for the terrible two's!"  What a negative way to describe parenthood.

The hard days, I'm thankful for. The easy days, I'm just as thankful for.

I'm not done having kids, and I"m grateful I still get the privileged to experience more baby moments, toddler moments, and child moments. Once I leave that chapter behind, I know I'll miss what I have today, but I'll also be excited for the next one. Until then I will enjoy my two boys :)

A New Life...

What an exciting heading! Well, for me anyway. 




Birth Story...


Thirty eight weeks pregnant: I'm not sure who started the glowing rumor about pregnancy, but surely they've never experienced it firsthand themselves. I felt overly huge, uncomfortable, loss of energy; my heartburn was so bad I ate Tums sun up to down; walking was painful, and every time I felt my sweet angel move, I thought he broke my hip bones.  By this time, in my pregnancy, its called the "I'm done" phase and the thought of  two more weeks is enough to bring me to tears.


April twenty ninth around five thirty my water broke. Not only did it break, but I was sitting on my couch, and you can just imagine the mess it made. I jumped up and ran to the kitchen where I  stood in utter shock. Even though I was physically prepared for this baby to come I wasn't mentally ready. I didn't even pack my hospital bag. YIKES! Since I was having a VBAC my OBGYN told me that if my water broke I needed to go into the hospital right away. I told my husband "My water just broke." He gets up and walks over to me, and I cry.  My tears were caused by dirty laundry, yep that's right. I was crying because the laundry wasn't done. How could we bring our new baby home to a "dirty house" as I put it? Sometimes I would love to know what goes on in a mans head when all of this chaos is going on.


I go upstairs to our bedroom, leaking amniotic fluid from the couch to the kitchen, up the stairs, down the hall and into our bedroom/bathroom. My husband follows and begins to call his brother while starting a load of laundry. what a sweet husband I have.


After one shower and two changes of clothes, I came to realize nothing is going to stay dry or clean. My brother in law shows up, we explain to Seth that Ashton is coming, and we will see him tomorrow. Then off to the hospital we go.


The drive to the hospital will be a memory, I will always hold dear to me. We were both starting to feel excited and less scared about having this baby. Maybe I was ready after all!! The thought continually weighed on my mind if I would be able to have a VBAC, and there I was, on my way to find out. 


We arrived at the hospital and got checked in. Then waited, and waited, and waited. By the time I was admitted into the hospital and taken to my room my contractions were getting stronger. My optimistic way of thinking started to decrease, I totally forgot what labor felt like. I guess four years can bring a thick fog over my memory. I could have sworn at this pain level I had to be at least a 6...nope, I was a 3-4. WHAT!!! How on earth am I going to be able to handle this?? I will admit right here that I am a wimp before contractions and especially during them.


My doctor came in and recommended an epidural. Since I was trying for a VABC, in case of an emergency, they would have to put me to sleep, and I did not want that at all. I wanted to be awake and alert when I gave birth to my son. No matter how he came into this world, I wanted to be apart of that moment...and I was in a lot of pain so it sounded wonderful. Note: I have decided formally that all women who give birth without one, are considered to me "Super-Wonder-Woman." I received my epidural when I was dilated to an 8, and that was pretty much all I could take. I could still feel a lot of pain and pressure, but it took the edge off....thankfully! 


Finally, I'm dilated to a 10 and ready to push. This is the moment that I had been waiting for. I researched VBACS until I was blue in the face for three years. I did everything I could to plan and prepare to have a baby the way we were intended to have them. 


(My husband gave me an amazing spiritual blessing a few weeks before I went into labor. It really expounded on my labor and delivery, which gave me so much comfort and belief in myself that I could do this. Through prayer, faith and obedience, I knew I could have this VBAC.)


One hour and twenty minutes later our new sweet blessing took his first breath at 1:20 a.m. on April 30. 

Ashton James Kinneard

7.4lbs/20.9"

I did it!! I had a successful VBAC!! Not only, that but I finally had it all. I was with my husband, and now we were blessed with another precious boy. I waited so long to have this baby. Spending two and half years praying and hoping for so many things, and now watching all of my dreams come true humbles my heart. I can sit here right now and feel  this warm comforting feeling inside of me knowing where every blessing came from. Life even at its hardest can be so wonderful. The Lord helped me through each second of doubt I had and in return replaced it with encouragement. He comforted me when I felt like I couldn't continue. I know that through Him, I can accomplish anything I desire. My heart is full. I have two beautiful boys and an amazing husband

Seth is such a great BIG brother. He loves Ashton very much, and I'm grateful he has adjusted to him so well. Cameron is the best dad these two boys could ask for. 

I'm tired utterly exhausted as expected. My house is a disaster half all the time. Seth's routine/schedule is just now getting back on track...two months later. I feel like a walking zombie most all days. The reality of having a newborn is...nothing gets done besides feedings, diaper changes and the mounds of extra laundry, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!! I love having a new baby around, and I am trying to soak up as much as I can while he is still so little. Even the midnight/early-morning feedings, not a second goes by that I don't feel blessed and grateful.